In the not-too-distant future, on the Warner Brothers lot, Two mice named Pinky and The Brain were hatching an evil plot. They snuck up on the home of the Warner kids (Just three regular 'toons who'd flipped their lids)-- The water tower was such a peaceful place 'Til they strapped some rockets to it, and shot it into spaaace! (Wheeee!) "We'll send them cheesy postings, the worst we can find." (la la la) "They'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor their minds." (la la la) Keep in mind, the Warners can't control where the postings begin or end-- But they lost their sanity long ago, so don't worry about them, friends! Warner roll call: Rita! (Meow?) Yakko! (Look out, sibs!) Wakko! (Is it lunchtime yet?) Doooot! (I'm cute!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science facts, (la la la) Repeat to yourself, "It's a damn CARTOON-- I should really just relax For Mystery Warner Theater 3000." ...o...2...3...4...5...6...WB [Zoom in on Wakko who is a pale yellow color and sprawled on the seat.] Yakko: [As McCoy from Star Trek] I don't think he can take any more captain. Dot: Hold on Wakko there's only this one to do!! Wakko: [In pain] ooooooh [Pan to television where Rita is on top trying to unplug it.] Rita: I'm just erm trying to improve the reception, yeah that's it. [She jumps down onto the couch.] Pinky: Oh brain I feel all warm and fuzzy. Brain: You probably are all warm and fuzzy pinky, never mind soon I shall be the supreme ruler when all have submitted to me!! Pinky: Yah brain! [Lights and Sirens] Yakko: For the last time let's take it away!! Wakko: I wish they'd take me away.... > From: Charles Brown > Newsgroups: alt.tv.animaniacs > Subject: Astronomical Yakko: This should be better, it can't get any worse... > Date: Sun, 30th August 1998 17:23 GMT+1 > Organization: My own little world > Mime-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII > X-Sender: > X-Oblig-furryword: yiff Yakko: GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!! >/------------\ My first A! fanfic/movie parody so when it all falls apart >|Astronomical| please don't laugh too much... >\------------/---------------------------------------------------------------- Dot: We'll stop laughing when our tonsils fall out, okay. >Legal type stuff:- >This document is Copyright (C) 1997 Charles "Runt-Abu" Brown > (runtabu@aol.com) All rights reserved. >The characters of the Warner Siblings and related characters are copyright and trademark Warner >Bros. Animation, and are used without permission. Their use within this work of fiction is in no >way, meant to infringe or steal that copyright, nor to dilute the characters themselves. No >profit on the part of the author is made from this document, and this document is used only for >entertainment purposes. If there are any legal problems with this document, please contact the >author to make arrangements to amend these legal difficulties. >This fanfic is a Parody of the incredible and great movie Phenomenom. >Unfortunatly I have no idea what company made this film, if anybody knows I will put it in here >and apply the same legal gubbins (e.g This is not an attempt to steal thier copyright it's >merely for entertainment and used without thier permission.) Wakko: That's not a good sign. Yakko: Nothing by this guy is a good sign. >This work may be freely distributed in any media as long as it is not; altered for its original >form, and that no money is charged for the document itself. It may be included on any archive >collection under the same terms. >============================================================================== >Special note from the author runt-abu. >It may become very apparent vey quickly that I have never actually seen >phenomenom and this entire fanfic is based on the minute worth of clips >that I have seen... Dot: That is a very very bad sign.... Yakko: I dunno it might make it better. >------------------------------------------------------------------------------ >Prelogue >-------- >Ralph the guard took another donut out of the small tray and slowly dunked it >into the brown stuff that was jokingly called coffee. Wakko: [As Spock from Star Trek] Captain sensor report that this is in fact some sort of Coco derivitive. >He watched in amazement as the donut actually melted it was like the coffee >was made of some concentrated acid. Yakko: Must be WB coffee then. >Ralph accidently spilt the coffee on the floor and a large hole was burnt >in the ground where the coffee lay. >Ralph just ignored this and went to get some more coffee, he'd make just >slightly weaker this time.. >"Gees looks at thats..." he said in amazement as overhead a large metor >zoomed overhead. Dot: Wow incrdible special effects, but why does it look like a painted gold ball? >The metor was glowing a nice blue and Ralph stood there staring at it as >it slowly got closer and closer.... Yakko: Even I can see what's coming next. >Ralph suddenly realised that unless he moved he'd be a pancake and that >would be a bad thing as he would not be able to keep an eye on those >zany warners if he was a pancake. Wakko: Never stopped him before. >Of course by the time Ralph had actually worked all this out the metor >was almost on him, with amazing prowess Ralph lept into his small Rita: ballet costume. Dot: Eeeeew! >guard hut, okay so he started to run tripped on the hole the coffee had >made and ended up beneth his desk but the result was the same... >The roof and walls of the guard hut were ripped away as the metor hit >ground zero. >The last thing Ralph saw was a brillant flash of blue light... Yakko: More light effects, we told you to look out for them. >Chapter 1 - Astronomical >------------------------ >"Ralph, canst you hear me?" The familer voice of Dr Scratchnsniff came. Yakko+Wakko+Dot: SCRATCHY!! >"Duh..." Ralph stammered. >"NO, Don't try to move, you were conked on the noggin' by ein large >space rock.." Scracthnsniff shouted. >"Are you okay Ralph.." The soothing voice of Hello Nurse asked gently. Yakko+Wakko: HEELLLLLLOOOO NURSE! Dot: This is a lot better! >"I think soes.." Ralph replied. Yakko: See even Ralph agrees. >Scrathnsniff took a small termometer and poped it into Ralph's mouth; >it instantly exploded. >"That is unexpected..." Scracthnsniff said wiping the mercury of his lab >coat. Wakko: Nah thermometers explode all the time. >"I'm sorry..." Ralph apolgised. >"It's not you're fault Ralph, that metor must have affected you.." Hello >nurse said comfortingly. "You should get some rest now...." >Ralph sat up and looked around, something was diffrent, maybe it was the >fact that his hand were glowing or that his hat was floating in mid-air >beside him but Ralph didn't notice either of these things, no Ralph noticed >that someone had left a donut on the other side of the room. Yakko: That's Ralph for sure. >"Hmmmm Mahee Mahee!" Ralph exclaimed >Ralph tried to reach the donut but just couldn't get to it unless he >wanted to fall out of the bed. Ralph really wanted the donut, so much >so he could amlost taste it, sugar coated cream filled with a dollop >of jam.. Ralph took a big bite at the imaginary donut, only to find >that the real one was floating right in front of him. Wakko: Ace, I wish I could do that... >"Gees this is a great dream!" Ralph said happily... >Chapter 2 - Telekinwhatis? >-------------------------- >"Ralph hast you seen mine donut around?" Scratchnsniff asked the next morning >"The cream one with jam, oh i ate that.." Ralph said. >"But how could you, it was across the room.." >"Oh it floated to me and so I ate it..." Ralph said tiredly. >Scratchnsniff shook his head. >"If what you say ist true you may have ein telekenikal powers!" >Scratchnsniff said excitedly. "I have ein friend that vould be >intrested in this, come lets find him!" >Scracthnsniff pulled Ralph out of the bed. Yakko: I hope he got dressed first.... >"This is highly illogical... It is not possible to develop >telekenisis from contact with a metor." Atad said. >"You think so?" Scratchnsniff said defiantly, "Vell Mr >smarty pants vatch this..." >Scratchnsniff placed a donut on the ground and spoke >to Ralph, "Okay Ralph i vant you to imagine Wakko: that this is not a fanfic and that we can all go home now. >the donut can fly up to you..." >But before he could finish Ralph was already eating the donut >"That is not possible..." Atad cried, "I've been exsposed >to much strange things then that and never developed any >powers." Yakko: [Nelson laugh] Wah-ha! >"Dat ist because you are a machiny thing!" Scratchnsniff shouted >at the weeping Atad. >Ralph suddenly stopped eating his donut. >"Mr Atad, I think you better move." Ralph said with urgancy. >Atad took a step to the left just a huge sandbag landed where he was >standing. Rita: Should have let the guy get squicked I say. >Epilogue - Precognition >----------------------- >"That wast incredible, do you believe he hast powers now?" >Scratchnsniff demanded. >Before Atad could answer a women in a dark raincoat rushed >in carrying a small red fox and shouted. >"I want to believe you but we need evidence.." >Before running off being chased by some people also in >raincoats. >"What was that?" Asked Atad >"Oh that vas just da y-fronts.." Scratchnsniff explained. Dot: Oyl! Yakko: But Agent Sculky *rowr* >Ralph was pointing up at the watertower. >"There's going to be another metor..." He said in a >dis-attached voice. "It destroys the watertower..." >"Come ve must move the watertower before the metor hits it." >Scracthnsniff said running towards the watertower. >Inside the tower Yakko, Wakko and Dot were still asleep, Yakko: Dang, we would have liked this sort of thing. >Yakko muttered something as the tower scrapped along the ground. Wakko: Probably "Is this a fanfic or are we on?" >Overhead the metor hurtled towards the watertower glowing a >deep purple. Ralph stood there transfixed again as Atad and >Scratchnsniff somehow moved the watertower. Rita: They used really big jacks. Dot: Or Fred's, Fred's can be stronger then Jacks. >The metor hit the ground where the watertower had been only seconds >before, it lit up the whole lot in a mass of green and blue. >Ralph seemed to be surrounded by a dark red aura which stopped him >from glowing. Yakko: He was glowing?! Wakko: Apparently. >When the dust settled and the light faded the lot looked pretty much >unchanged; well except for the large growing rock where the watertower >had been. Dot: It's one of these things you tend to notice. >"Duh, What happened?" Ralph asked. >"I can't remeber..." Scratchnsniff replied, "but it had something to >do with donuts..." >The C.E.O. quickly had the guard hut repaired and very few questions were >asked since nobody could actually rember anything.... Yakko: What a great plot hole. >The next night Ralph was on duty again he took another donut out of the small >tray and slowly dunked it into the brown stuff that was jokingly called coffee. Wakko: Have we been here before? >He watched in amazement as the donut actually melted it was like the coffee >was made of some concentrated acid.. Dot: Yep we have. >A glimmer of recognition in Ralph eyes quickly died out when he "accidently" >spilled his coffee on the floor, to his surprise there were now two large >holes where some sort of acid had burnt through into the ground. >"Gees looks at thats..." he said in amazement as overhead a large metor >zoomed overhead. Yakko: AIEEEeeeeeeeee!!!! >The metor was glowing a nice blue and Ralph stood there staring at it as >it slowly got closer and closer.... >The end (or is it the start??) Dot: The end, please the end, please please please!! ...o...2...3...4...5...6...WB All: YAH!!! Pinky: Brain the film has finished! Brain: I know pinky, have the warners turned to pools of slime yet? Pinky: I'll go check. [Pinky pushes the television screen off and looks at Yakko, Wakko and Dot.] Pinky: Nope, But Rita is looking like she wants to eat us... [Rita smiles and licks her lips ready to pounce Pinky and The Brain.] Brain: Pinky we should run in terror. Pinky: Right-o brain, should we scream whilst running? Brain: [Already running away fast] That is opptional... Pinky: Right-o!! [Pinky and the brian run off (stage left even) with Rita in chase.] Yakko: I think we did it, I think it's over. Wakko: Don't speak too soon, check for the end credits... Dot: Yep they are coming up!! Yakko: Yah! This is the end then!! Wakko: Does that mean we can have lunch?? Yakko: I suppose so. Come along sibs let us depart... [Fade to black] ============================================================================================== MST3K Update 30/8/98 with supporting speech by Charles Brown "Love Theme from MWT3K" by Petrea Mitchell (with apologies to the usual people) Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright Best Brains, Inc. Animaniacs, its characters and situations are copyright Amblin. No copyrights were intentionally infringed in the making of this MSTing. If you'd like to MSTify some deserving piece, please join the MSTing dibs list by mailing with a subject of "DIBS-SUB". Dedication ========== This story is dedicated to EVERYONE on #watertower (irc.wtower.com 6667) and EVERYONE on #warnercafe (irc.cajnet.org) for thier hugs, love and support. Special thanks to :- Well everyone, absoultly everyone everywhere no matter if I know you or not, thanks anywho! LLL, ttfn.