In the not-too-distant future, on the Warner Brothers lot, Two mice named Pinky and The Brain were hatching an evil plot. They snuck up on the home of the Warner kids (Just three regular 'toons who'd flipped their lids)-- The water tower was such a peaceful place 'Til they strapped some rockets to it, and shot it into spaaace! (Wheeee!) "We'll send them cheesy postings, the worst we can find." (la la la) "They'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor their minds." (la la la) Keep in mind, the Warners can't control where the postings begin or end-- But they lost their sanity long ago, so don't worry about them, friends! Warner roll call: Rita! (Meow?) Yakko! (Look out, sibs!) Wakko! (Is it lunchtime yet?) Doooot! (I'm cute!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science facts, (la la la) Repeat to yourself, "It's a damn CARTOON-- I should really just relax For Mystery Warner Theater 3000." ...o...2...3...4...5...6...WB [Yakko, Wakko and Dot are sitting on a large couch in front of the television, Rita is asleep on the chair arm beside Dot. Dot smiles cutely and address the camera.] Dot: [As news anchor] Good morning and today's lead story, The Warners are terrorised by Pinky and the Brain who are sending terrible fanfic's to us by the medium of television. Yakko: [As news reader] That is correct Dot, the question we must ask is WHERE'S THE EXIT?!!! Wakko: Maybe this one will be better... [Pan to television] Brain: Welcome back my legions of new followers, I may consider stopping the transimission of these fanfics if you bow down before me and appoint me your leader. Yakko+Wakko+Dot: Hmmmmm, Nah. Pinky: Zot! I think we will have to show the next fanfic Brain. Brain: So be it... [Lights and Sirens] WB...6...5...4...3...2...o... Dot: Well here we go again.... > From: Charles Brown > Newsgroups: alt.tv.animaniacs > Subject: The mouse from D.I.S.N.E.Y Yakko: I have a feeling of impending doom. > Date: Sun, 30th August 1998 15:12 GMT+1 Wakko: Does this guy actually sleep? > Organization: My own little world > Mime-Version: 1.0 > Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII > X-Sender: > X-Oblig-catnoise: Meow Yakko: Well d'oh. > /----------------\ > | The mouse from | > | D.I.S.N.E.Y | > \----------------/ > > A shocking and horrific A! Fanfic by Charles Runt-Abu Brown Wakko: Yes shocking, quite probably horrific. >============================================================================== >Legal type stuff:- >This document is Copyright (C) 1997 Charles "Runt" Brown > (runtabu@aol.com). All rights reserved. Dot: Does anyone know what rights he's actually reserved about? I mean is that not a little prejudice being "rightist"? >The characters of the Warner Siblings and related characters are copyright and trademark Warner >Bros. Animation, and are used without permission. Their use within this work of fiction is in no >way, meant to infringe or steal that copyright, nor to dilute the characters themselves. No >profit on the part of the author is made from this document, and this document is used only for >entertainment purposes. If there is any legal problems with this document, please contact the >author to make arrangements to amend these legal difficulties. >This work may be freely distributed in any media as long as it is not; altered for its original >form, and that no money is charged for the document itself. It may be included on any archive >collection under the same terms. Yakko: I'm sure it won't. >=============================================================================== >|Prologue| >\________/ >Patb theme music echos in the background. Dot: Echoing music, What causes that? Rita: [Sleepily] Bad sound engineers. Dot: Oh you joining us on this one? Rita: Might as well, i'm not getting paid to sleep now. >"Gee brain, what are we going to do, to do, to do do do do do dddd...." Wakko: [Singing] Down do-be-do down down, do-be do-be, down do-be-do down down. >Pinky stutered. Smoke started coming out of his ears... Yakko: Too much fibre in his diet. >"DDDDDD! POINT!! Zorttttttt." Pinky suddenly stopped speaking. >"Pinky?" The brain called worryingly from behind the cotton reel he had Dot: put there for such emergancies. >suddenly dived behind. "Pinky are you okay?" >"Narfff." Pinky replied. >"Pinky what's wrong?" The brain asked, "Look if it's about last night we Wakko: did actually take over the world but nobody really cares, go fig. >can do better tonight." >"Gee brain, what, what, what dooooo..." Pinky started again. Wakko: I'm not doing the do-be-do thing again. >The brain quickly peaked up from behind his cotton reel. He could Rita: Stop this now. >just make out the figure of Pinky in the billowing smoke. Suddenly the lab's >fire alarm screamed out. Yakko: [Detached and unintrested.] alarm alarm alarm. alarm alarm alarm. >"Fire Alert! Fire Alert; this is NOT, I repeat NOT and just in case you >missed that this is NOT a drill. Wakko: No it's a fire alarm, drill's make holes in things. >Evacuate the building, Lab assitants and genetic mutants first...." >It continued to scream as the brain bravely aimed the water bottle from the >cage and pointed it a Pinky. Dot: Eeeeew, you don't know where that water came from! >The brain squezzed the bottle hard and a jet of water hit pinky. >A hissing noise came from somewhere in the smoke. Wakko: Probably someone reading this fanfic, that's there brain melting. >"Pinky can you hear me, are you alright?" The brain asked. >"Egad brain that was great!" Pinky chirped up. >The smoke graduly disapated from around pinky and the brain could >see that he had been severly burnt. Yakko: Well if he was totally unscathed that would be intresting. >"Does that not hurt?" The brain asked. Dot: Well to start with I had some problems you know losing your heart to Mel Gibson is a small price to pay. >"Does what hurt?" Pinky retorted. He followed the brain's stare to his >still smoking arm. "Narfff!" Was all he said before fainting.... >Chapter 1 - The pinkinator >========================== Yakko: It's in chapters?! AIEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee....... >"...pinky" The brain said softly to his cohort. "Can you hear me?" >"Oh brain it's just you, zort. I had a horrible dream, I was on fire and >oh there was a huge mutant cheese chasing me and ...." Wakko: You where there and you where there and there was these ruby red slippers. >The brain gave pinky an ominous stare and pinky instincivly stopped talking. >"Well the mutant cheese is obviously just your strange little mind Rita: That explains quite a lot. >interpreting last night's events, however you were really on fire..." >Pinky looked at his arm and so it was not there, instead there was a strange >mettalic piston with four small ball and socket acutors on the end. >"Point, what is that brain, it looks like something from the terminator!" >The brain looked at his partner in surprise, "Incredible pinky for once >you are actually right! You're arm, and the rest of you is in fact a >robot!" Yakko: Oooooh! He was right this is horrific. >"OOh! Are you pondering what I'm pondering brain?" Pinky asked. >The brain looked at him in shock; could it be that Pinky was actually >more intellgent?? >"I think so pinky..." The brain started and was imeditly interupted by >Pinky. Wakko: Yes pinky I am thinking we should have never agreed to do this fanfic but it's too late now. >"Great!! You find some milk and I'll get the cheese maker!!" >The brain shook his head at his partners mindless prattle. >"No Pinky" He said through gritted teeth, "If you are a robot then Dot: I must be a choclate tea pot. >we can use you to take over the world!" >"But brain, point, what if it's not in my programming?" Pinky asked >"That's the second intellegent thing you've said today pinky, are you >sure you're feeling okay?" the brain asked avoiding pinky's question. Yakko: [as pinky] Well gee brain yes but i think i keep losing my punctation, you haven't seen it around have you? Zot! >Pinky just stared out of the cage with a blank look on his face. >"Now to see about your core program...." The brain said with a Dot: I thought he was a robot not an apple. >glint of menace in his eyes as he slowly moved towards pinky with a >large screwdriver in his hand..... >Chapter 2 - Activation >====================== Rita: [Yawning widely] Is it always as bad as this? Yakko: Nope, sometimes it's worse. >The brain pressed the screwdriver into pinky. Yakko: GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!! >"zort, that tickles brain!!" Pinky squelled. >The brain paid no attention and continued to work on pinky. >"Ah, here it is!!" brain exclamed as he found a memory chip marked thusly: - Wakko: How convient. > /-----------------------\ >|P.I.N.K.Y|core program | > |e n . i e|=============|ª >|r v A l t| | > |s e . l i| Property |ª >|o t R e / of | > |n i . r | D.I.S.N.E.Y |ª >|a g F / Astro-tech | > |l a / Division |ª >| t /-----------------| > | i / |ª >| o| | > | n| |ª > \-----------------------/ >"Hmmm, D.I.S.N.E.Y..." the brain uttered. >Suddenly pinky's eyes lit up with a strange red light. Yakko: Yep hearing about disney will do that to you. >Pinky slowly turned his head around towards the brain. >"You are scheduled for erasing..." Pinky said in a deep mechanical >voice. Wakko: Well I can imagine some kids finding that scary. >"Hunh?" the brain said. >Pinky's mechanical arm suddenly took the brain and threw him across the >cage screaming. Dot: his scream was one of sheer terror and horror "RUSH LIMBAUGHHHHHhhhhhh...." >"PINKYYYYYYYYY!" brain screeched. >He hit the side of the cage. >Pinky slowly moved over towards where the brain was lying. >His red eyes lit up again and looked over the brain. >"Life signs: NEGATIVE. Request to proceed." Then suddenly pinky stopped. Dot: and turned on the fanfic writer. >A small green light near pinky's ear flashed rapidly. >"Confirmed, proceeding to next target." Pinky suddenly started again, Dot: Dang. >he threw open the cage door and walked out into the acme labs... >A stream of blood flowed from the brain into the middle of the cage. Yakko: EEeeeew, can he get away with that. >The brain cautiously opened one eye, "That meditation class did come >in handy after all..." He said faintly before blacking out. Wakko: I'm sure I saw that on an episode of Johnny Quest. >Chapter 3 - Armageddon >====================== >"I'm Mary Hartless and you join me live at the Warner brother sound stage >where an epic battle ensues. Reports are a strange robot creature has Rita: taken over the world, thus ending the fanfic. >started to attack the warner movie lot. Ohh! Gerry look there it is!" >the reporter screamed. Gerry quickly panned the camera around and Yakko: around and around and around and around until he was sick. >in the mass of explosions a small mouse like robot could be seen moving >towards the watertower. >"Er, Yous can't goes in there!" Ralph the guard in full riot gear bravely >shouted at the robot pinky. >Meanwhile Skippy and Slappy fired bazookas and anti-tank guns at the small >robot, none were having any effect. Suddenly Pinky's eyes flashed red, >as another bazooka shell hurtled towards him he jumped and grabbed it. Wakko: Surely that's got to hurt. >"Aunt Slappy..." Skippy started, "I think we should leave now...." >"What's wrong Kid, you turning chicken?" Slappy replied. >"NO, he's turning chicken.." Skippy said pulling chicken boo on camera. >"I'm just worried that he'll throw that bazooka shell at us." >"Maybe you're right kiddo, we're not getting paid enogth for this cameo >to be blown up, let's skid-dad-ill." Slappy said grabbing skippy and >suddenly jumping off the building as seconds latter pinky threw the Yakko: Missing semi-colons and commas at them. >bazooka shell at the roof top. Chicken boo flew miles into the air..... >Pinky now turned his attention to Ralph, pinky's eyes flashed red and >Ralph ran screaming from the sound lot. >The robot pinky slowly climbed the watertower. When he eventually reached >the top he pulled the watertower door off it's hinges, a tidal wave of >water suddenly hit him. Dot: What a yutz. >From the ground Yakko shouted up to him, "You didn't really think we >lived in a watertower did you?!" Yakko: Well yes we do for your information. >Wakko continued, "Yeah that's just for the show, we really live in these >trailers here...." >notice the trailers letter-boxes read "YW" "DW" "WW" and "EP" (EP standing >of course for Elvis Presley...) And Cut back to the studio lot.> Wakko: Well at least there's a nice in-gag there. >Dot finshed off by shouting "Dumber then advertised!" at the robot >pinky. Dot: Should have shouted that at the fanfic writer. >When the tidal wave subsided all eyes were watching the watertower >where had the robot pinky gone? Yakko: Home? Wakko: The delta quadrant? Dot: Kansas? Rita: Deep space? >Wakko was the first to notice the ominous music in the background... Wakko: Nah i think that you would hear the music first Dot. >"Er guys, I don't like this anymore...." Dot: Neither do we spooky voice but what option do we have. >Yakko was the first to hear the noise of the pinky robot moving towards >them.. Yakko: What with my paddle ball ear, no chance! >"Maybe we should consider a stragic withdrawl..." Wakko: Yes spooky voice we should. >Wakko puzzled asked "What??" >Dot transfixed by the robot pinky's glowing red eyes slowly stammered, >"He means ...." >And then all three warner's shouted "RETREAT!!!!" All: Yeah! >They ran past The hip hipppos, the goodfeathers and some non veberal >characters cartoons and ended up in a Rita and Runt cartoon. Rita: I'm scared. Yakko: You should be, you didn't see the last one... >"And That's why we are hereeeee...." Rita finshed singing. >She suddenly looked up. Rita: Nah i don't do anything suddenly. >"Hey what gives?" She asked. >"Sorry guys.." started Yakko, "but were Yakko: stuck in a fanfic, there's no way out except down here... >being chased by a robot mouse." >"A robot mouse? Get real!" Rita exclaimed. >"Er Rita what's a robot?" Runt asked. >"You can knock that off now Runt, I think this is real." >"Okay, so what we going to do about it then?" Runt asked in a strangly Wakko: fanfic cliched voice. >intelligent voice. >"Well we were planning on fleeing for our lives..." Dot stated. Dot: Always a good plan, or at least a nice back up. >"Well that could be hard.." Rita started, "See this is the last cartoon and >we're all out of commercials." Yakko: dang, that always happens. >"We could always cross the polarity of a gateway bridge with the reverse >angle of the dodecahedron cosine sum." Runt offered. Yakko: Technobable, bleeeeeh. >Suddenly the brain from no where with a large bandage around his head. Wakko: Pat i'd like to buy a verb. Yakko: Pat i'd also like to buy the Brooklin Bridge. >"No, that would not work; the polarity would only remain inverse for a brief >second." he said. Dot: Does anyone actually understand what that means? Yakko: Yeah, it means the writer needed a plot hole. >"Yeah but that be long enogth to net him.." Runt concluded. >Everybody but the brain stared at Runt in amazement. >"Dogs, Go Fig!" Said Rita. Rita: no no no, it's "GO Fig!" see the emphsis is on the Go. >Then that familer noise of the robot pinky coming towards them was heard >really faintly.... >Chapter 4 - It's not over 'till Rita sings >========================================== Yakko: Quick start singing Rita!! >"It a shame we don't have time to build the nessacary components for >a ion beam." Runt started "That would at least slow him down...." Wakko: Or at least bog down the plot a little. >"Hmmm you may be right there my cannie friend, prehaps you four could >distract him..." Yakko: Yeah sure, we'll just stand here getting shot at whilst you two run away. >"NO way jack!" Rita said, "I saw what he did to boo!" >"Yeah that goes for us as well!" Yakko said. >A familar red glow was cast upon them, in front of them stood... Wakko: Blarney the friendlysaur!!!! >Robot pinky. >"Buck, Buckaw!!" A loud cry came from above.. >"RUN!" Shouted Yakko >Rita grabbed the brain and jumped onto runt's back. Yakko made a lasso >with his tail and wrapped it around runt. Suddenly runt took off and yakko >grabbed wakko and dot and due to a horrible continuity plot error. Yakko >suddenly found he was wearing roller blades. Yakko: Works for me, at least it moves the plot on... >"How did that happen?" Asked dot clinging onto yakko for dear life. >"Continuity error, hey go with it!!" Yakko replied. Dot: As if i'd ask such a stupid question when my life is in mortal danger. [Wakko glares at Dot.] >"Erm Guys." Runt shouted, "Where should I run _to_ after all we're all >out of cartoons!!" Yakko: Cross over, Fox won't mind. >"Just run far enogth away so that boo won't land on us!" Shouted yakko. >"Y'okay!" replied Runt. >The shadow of boo was getting larger and slowly covering up the tiny little >pinky robot. >Boo landed right on top of the pinky robot. All: Yah! >The robot pinky somehow caught boo and threw him backwards off the cartoon. All: Booo! >"You are scheduled for erasing..." the pinky robot said with that Wakko: cliched fanfic voice. Dot: You've done that one already Wakko. >evil mechanical voice. >"LOOK OUT!" Screamed Runt, "We're coming to the end credits!!" >Runt with all in tow ran past the closing credits, jumping from name to name >until he made it to the watertower close up at the end. >"No where else to run now...." the pinky robot called. Yakko: Like I said, cross-over if you are lucky it will be one of our double bills!! >Rita and the brain jumped off runt and yakko, wakko and dot followed them >to the very edge of the film, beside them they could see the >sound bars and just over that lay nothingness.... Wakko: I can see nothingness just now. >"I've an idea..." Started yakko. "Sing something!" He said to Rita. >"I don't think this is a good time.." She started to complain. Rita: There's always time to sing, besides it will finish this silly thing, look at the chapter title!! >"No I think I see what he has in mind..." The brain back yakko up. >"Okay then.." Rita started to sing. > Dot: That's okay, we can sue for other things. >Rita: When we were young.. >Runt: We were young.. Rita: How original. >Rita: We needed a home, somewhere to go when the night fell in.. >Runt: Fell in.. Yakko: [As marine captain] TEN'SHUN! >Rita: Someone to feed us.. >Runt: To feed us.. Wakko: [Stomach rumbles] That reminds me... >Rita: Someone to need us.. >Runt: To need us.. >Rita: But that never happened, we were Rita: [Singing] taken into a fanfic... Wakko: Nice improv. >abadonded and left in the night. >Runt: the night.. >Rita: But I understand now, this was meant to be, this is our > destiny, and that's why we are hereeeee.... > >(During the song yakko has grabbed the sound of Rita and Runt singing and >made a large ball of sound with it. The robot pinky is now right on them.) Yakko: Well it must almost be done now. >"Time to say goodbye!" the robot pinky said. >"Er, I don't think so!" Yakko shouted. >He threw the ball of sound at pinky. The robot was tangled up in the >sound. >"What now?!" Asked Dot. >"Watch..." Said Yakko, Brain and Runt in unison. Yakko: No look, watches tell the time. Luke Skywalker: You are not my father. Wakko: [Squints curiously at Luke Skywalker and shrugs] Yakko: Ahhhh, yeah your right I'm not your father, try the Death Star Luke... Luke Skywalker: Thanks. [Leaves] >The pinky robot at first seemed unharmed by the ball but then it started >to shake, then quiver until eventually the robot collapsed. All: YAH! >"What happened?" Asked Wakko, Rita and Dot. >Brain was the first one to offer an explanation, "The harmonics of the >sound wave crippled the robot, being made up of metal and silicon chips >the sound caused him to collapse into this pile." Dot: Does that work? Yakko: Who cares, it finishes the story. >"So what you gonna do without a partner?" Asked Rita. >"Hmmm, Well first I'll sue D.I.S.N.E.Y for making such a horrible >creation. Then I may try and rebuild him, this time without the Wakko: Fanfic. >killer chip..." >"Well good luck, if you need a hand you know where to come..." Runt >offered. >"Come on sibs, our work here is done." Yakko said leading wakko >and dot away from the edge of the film strip. >From over the edge of the film strip a "Buk, Bukawwww!" Was faintly >heard..... >Epilogue - 2 weeks later... >======== Wakko: There's more?! >Brain with some help from Runt had eventually managed to rebuild his >partner. >"Let's turn him on and see if he cooks!" Runt exclaimed. Yakko: Explains the smoking ears eariler then. >"g..e..e brain whatcha wanta do tonight?!" the pinky robot asked. >"I think he back to normal.." Runt said. >"Well as normal as he ever was..." The brain interjected. >"Hi Runt, whatcha doing a cameo here for." Pinky asked. >"Oh just a regular guest spot." Runt replied in his normal voice. >"Now the ultimate test...." the brain said worringly, "Pinky!" >He started, "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" He asked >with great anticipation. >"Gee I think so brain but a yellow house would not be as impressive!" >"He's back!" The brain cried in joy. Dot: And this is a good thing? ...o...2...3...4...5...6...WB Pinky: [Streches widely] You know I don't remeber any of that Brain. Brain: That's becuase we never did any of that, I should have read this fanfic first before showing it, now my plan may be ruined because I look like a fool all thanks to that writer! Pinky: Zot! So what are we going to do with the next one? Brain: Scrap it, skip to one that does not involve me!! Pinky: Okay Brain I'll look out for one. Brain: [Glances at Pinky] That's okay Pinky I'll find one after tonight. Pinky: Gee brain we aren't going to try taking over the world again are we? Brain: No pinky we _are_ going to take over the world!!! [Evil grin(tm)] Pinky: Oh righto brain. [Fade back to Warner living room. Wakko is gnawing his own leg whilst Dot sits there in a catatonic state and Yakko paddle balls.] Wakko: [Stops gnawing] I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!! Yakko: There's not that many more to go, we can do this, together sibs. Together we can conquer the Brain and his nefarious plan to conquer the Earth, only together can we do this!! Dot: Do we have to? Yakko: Well it's either this or [Dramatic cords] Blarney the friendlysaur. Wakko+Dot: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...... Yakko: Excatly, now which evil would you rather fight. Wakko: Compared to Blarney this is great! Dot: I would not go that far... [Fade to black] ================================================================================= MST3K Update 30/8/98 with supporting speech by Charles Brown "Love Theme from MWT3K" by Petrea Mitchell (with apologies to the usual people) Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright Best Brains, Inc. Animaniacs, its characters and situations are copyright Amblin. No copyrights were intentionally infringed in the making of this MSTing. Luke Skywalker appears with the greatest hopes that both Mark Hamill and George Lucas as well as his respected company don't sue me. If you'd like to MSTify some deserving piece, please join the MSTing dibs list by mailing with a subject of "DIBS-SUB". Dedication ========== This story is for YOU, yes whoever you are thank you for your support. Special extra thanks to:- MasemJMouse, DavidSMouse, Rhia, Glis - For the Con that we didn't expect... SheilaWarner, Plucky, Taperlass, RichardFox, Toony, LolaBunny, KinkyTurtle and Vakkotaur - for moving to cynet. WakkoJr, Wakko, Taperlass, Tettie, Mintaka, Minkie, WeirdGuy, Baz, DolphinDave and Pokernose - for not moving from wtower. Ruhk, Kamog, Alpha_x-ray and everyone else on furrymuck for the hugs. My mom and dad for not bugging me to get a real life (too much.) Fizzzgig, Speedy, Dracos, Colin, Ferg, Helen, Hacker and all other operatives of the K.G.B. for not minding their first furry in the club.