In the not-too-distant future, on the Warner Brothers lot, Two mice named Pinky and The Brain were hatching an evil plot. They snuck up on the home of the Warner kids (Just three regular 'toons who'd flipped their lids)-- The water tower was such a peaceful place 'Til they strapped some rockets to it, and shot it into spaaace! (Wheeee!) "We'll send them cheesy postings, the worst we can find." (la la la) "They'll have to sit and watch them all, and we'll monitor their minds." (la la la) Keep in mind, the Warners can't control where the postings begin or end-- But they lost their sanity long ago, so don't worry about them, friends! Warner roll call: Rita! (Meow?) Yakko! (Look out, sibs!) Wakko! (Is it lunchtime yet?) Doooot! (I'm cute!) If you're wondering how they eat and breathe, and other science facts, (la la la) Repeat to yourself, "It's a damn CARTOON-- I should really just relax For Mystery Warner Theater 3000." ...o...2...3...4...5...6...WB [Yakko, Wakko and Dot gather around a table in the kitchen, Wakko is currently eating things in the fridge... No make that eating the fridge. Yakko and Dot are in a heated argument and Rita is asleep on top of a work surface.] Yakko: ... Well I still say we should have demanded US dollars for all that promo work we did, now look this money [holds up some Roubles to Dot and camera] are not worth the paper they are printed on... [Stops, notices camera is on and beams broadly sitting back down in his seat.] Hi! Welcome to a special special show! Dot: Yes that's right! We are here today to bringing you well sort of a history report you see one year ago on this day something very odd happened. Wakko: [Polishing off fridge before burping loudly.] It did? Yakko: [Whispering to off stage] Film cue!! [A young geekish looking man enters and hand Yakko a blue piece of paper before running off real fast] Yakko: [Quickly glances at paper before screwing it up and throwing it over shoulder. It hits Rita who jumps.] Rita: Am I on? Yakko: Nope, sorry. [Rita shrugs and settles back down.] Yakko: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaanywho, it appears that there's been a slight change of plan, instead of the regularly planned episode "The killer christmas tree - one year on" we bring you instead the mulit-movie marathon!! Dot + Wakko : Aieeeeee! Yakko: Come now sibs, it's not all _THAT_ bad... Wakko: No, it's worse. [Yakko walks into the lounge and the camera pans with him to a large comfy sofa where Wakko and Dot are already sitting, Wakko eating popcorn.] Yakko: And now the show! [He pushes the remote control button and the television flickers into life.] Pinky: Zot! Brain we're being watched! Brain: Correct Pinky, in part of my plan to take over the world I have hijacked this small town television stuido and shall transmit fanfic's of such incredible horror that anyone watching shall be driven insane! Pinky: Great plan brain! But poit what if they change channels? Brain: [Twats Pinky on head with a pencil] That is a valid point but I have been hiding remote controls, no-one will dare actually move to change the channel!! Yakko: We're toast. Wakko: It could be worse... Dot: Yeah, it could be Brady Bunch re-runs.... Wakko: Well maybe not that bad. [Lights and Sirens] WB...6...5...4...3...2...o... Yakko: Well here we go... > From: Charles Brown Dot: An AOL user?! AIIIEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee......... > Newsgroups: alt.tv.animaniacs > Subject: Destiny, A! Fanfic (Sorta) Wakko: Is sorta a sorta word? > Date: Sun, 30th August 1998 02:18 GMT+1 Yakko: We all know what he was _REALLY_ doing at 2:18am... > Organization: My own little world Dot: [As police officer] I'm sorry sir but you don't have a licesce to operate your own world, we'll have to impound it. > Mime-Version: 1.0 Wakko: It's mime time, where's my mallet? > Content-Type: TEXT/PLAIN; charset=US-ASCII > X-Sender: > /-------------\ > | Destiny | > \-------------/ > A (sort of) A! fanfic by Charles "Runt-Abu" Brown. Dot: Well at least there's a nice formatting. Wakko: I was hoping he'd sorta use that word again... >============================================================================= >Legal type stuff:- Dot: Ha-ha! We'll still sue you know. >This document is Copyright (C) 1997 Charles "Runt" Brown >(runtabu@aol.com) All rights reserved. >The characters of the Warner Siblings and related characters are copyright and trademark Warner >Bros. Animation, and are used without permission. Their use within this work of fiction is in no Yakko: Well at least he admits it. Wakko: Admits what? Dot: That he stole all his ideas, characters and so on from us... >way, meant to infringe or steal that copyright, nor to dilute the characters themselves. No >profit on the part of the author is made from this document, and this document is used only for >entertainment purposes. If there is any legal problems with this document, please contact the >author to make arrangements to amend these legal difficulties. Dot: Oooh oooh can we make legal difficulties? I want to work with Perry Mason again!! >This work may be freely distributed in any media as long as it is not; altered for its original >form, and that no money is charged for the document itself. It may be included on any archive >collection under the same terms. >============================================================================= >"Come on Max, it's getting late!" Max's mom shouted from next door. Yakko: [Big kiss] GOODNIGHT EVERYBODY!!! >Max rolled his eyes back a turned back to his computer. Dot: Eeeew gross! Wakko: What his eye rolling to a computer? I can do that, want to see? Dot: EEEEEEeeeeeew!! >Oh well better say good bye.. He thought. He pressed and at the Yakko: Missing commas? >same time and switched to mIRC. Max looked at his monitor, there had been >quite a conversation going on.... Dot: Yeah like, How can we get out of here?! Wakko: I'd say more along the lines of how to stop this thing... >* runt-abu is playing tether ball with his tail. Yakko: Ahh see you where both wrong... > Does that not hurt runt? > Not much ;-) Yakko: Found a semi-colon, might want to keep it for later... >Max groaned, they were role-playing again, it's such a stupid idea. Dot: Yes, much like this story. >Pretending you're a 'toon, he could not be bothered arguing and was running >a little late so he just quit without giving a reason. He disconnected from Wakko: Real life >the server and switched off his computer Yakko: Without shutting down correctly so the full stop appeared. >He jumped into his small bed and fell asleep... Wakko: [Yawns loudly] The end. >When he awoke next morning he was slightly bemused to find he was no longer Dot: Oh I so much want to.... Yakko: Then just go for it! Dot: I don't think the censors will allows us. Yakko: Yeah since when has that stopped us? Dot: [Whispers to Yakko who turns bright red.] Yakko: Oh, yeah we'd be killed.... >in bed, more under it. He looked around and his eyes gradually adjusted Wakko: to the lines of boring text. >to the darkness Something touched his back. Max suddenly jumped only too Yakko: die horribly? Dot: Nah ... find out his legs had be chopped off. >hit his head on the bed. He was really terrified now when he realised that Yakko: he had a whole story still to go through. >if he pulled the sheets down he could see properly. He gently crawled Wakko: out of the enemy trenches. >towards the side of the bed and gave the sheet a hard tug. Light flooded Dot: No waves flood, but then light is supposed to be a wave type thing.... >under the bed and it was a good minute before Max could see anything. >When he could see he wished he couldn't... Wakko: [Singing] Try wishing, a little harder everyday... Yakko: No one will get a reference to that obsurce British TV series Wakko. Wakko: You did... Yakko: But I read the scripts. >"ARGHHHHHHHHHH!" Max screamed as he looked at where his hand should be. Yakko: MWAH! Goodnight everybody!! >Instead of his normal hand there was a gloved four finger hand. The thing Dot: There's a cameo in here from the Addam's family? >touched his back again, he turned around to see nothing there... He ran to Yakko: the doctor's like any sensible person would. >his wardrobe and opened it to look in the mirror. >Instead of his reflection there was Yakko Warner, well almost. Yakko: I resent that comparision. >The fur was a bit to light and his eyes were the wrong colour but it was Yakko: in other words nothing at all like me. Dot: You're just angry as you didn't get paid for this. Yakko: Dang right! >most definitely a Warner of sorts. Max touched Wakko: I think this guy is one of those obsesive/compulsives, has a touchy compulsion.... >the mirror and found his paw hit the glass. Behind him a long tail wiggled Yakko: and jiggled? >involuntarily. >"What's happened to me?" Dot: [As a doctor] You've fallen into a fanfic, there's nothing we can do for you... >"Looks like you're a toon." A strange voice said from behind him. Yakko: [As Mr Rogers] Can you say Exposition, sure knew you could. >Max spun around to see the room was still empty. Wakko: Someone has stolen his bed and wardrobe! >"YO! Down here!" A voice came from the computer. Wakko: But they left the computer, fools. >Max went and sat down, somehow the computer had started itself and connected Dot: directly into his brain >to #watertower. >"Who are you?" Max asked. Yakko: This is the voice of the Mysterons, we know you can here us Earth man. Wakko: I thought you didn't want obscure references. Yakko: But Captain Scarlet is not obscure!! Dot: Captain Who? Yakko: No doctor! [Rimshot] >Nothing happened. Wakko: Must be with AOL, line drop or something... >"Come on, I don't have all day!" The computer said, at the same time as the Dot: brain cells inside of my head gave up at last. >message from runt-abu popped up. >Max tried typing in the question this time : Yakko: What is the question, the ultimate question?? > Who are you? Wakko: I am number 6. > Ah, at last! Took your time didn't you... Any way you already know Yakko: the plot? There must be one around here somewhere. >who I am.... > WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME?! Dot: You've left caps lock on dear. > No need to shout! Look you've become a toon, so what. Where Yakko: can I find a exit to this place... >are you? > SO WHAT?? I'm a toon, I've got a tail and gloves! Wakko: Forgot fur and a little red nose. > Where are you? I can help you. > 1221 East High Grove, New York. > Ahhh... In that case I'll see you in about 15 hours.... > What am I suppose to do in the mean time? Dot: I thought New York was on Pacific Time, not mean time. > Well don't go outside for starters and try to relax. Runt-Abu out. >++ runt-abu has left the building... Yakko: Wish we could leave... >Max was now totally weired out. "I know it's a bad dream, this is a horrible Wakko: fanfic and I am going to sue!! >nightmare and I'm about to wake up..." Max said, he pinched himself hard. >"OUCH!" he screamed. "This is not good....." ' >Max tried to get back to sleep, maybe it would help, somehow... Yakko: I doubt it, someone stole your bed. >Suddenly a strange monkey type thing climbed in the window. All: PLOT POINT! >"I'm getting way too old for this!" It said. >"Who are you, and what are you doing in my house?" Max demanded. Wakko: I'm the burgler, I stole your bed and wardrobe and now i'm back for that nifty computer system. >"Hey calm down Max, it's me Runt-Abu." >"But you can't be, you're not meant to be hear for another 14 hours!" >"Yeah well you could say I got an earlier flight..." Runt-Abu said >mysteriously. "Anywho, it's a pleasure to meet you at last." he said as he Yakko: lost mutiple capital letters and punctation. >extended a paw. >Max warily shook it. Dot: Eeeeeew, I can't watch. >"Right let's get down to business...." Runt-Abu started. "You ARE now; hmm Wakko: deeply involved in a fanfic that you can never escape from. >let me see..." > Runt-Abu pulled out a small pocket computer. "Ahh, you are Max, ooh scary!" >Max looked puzzled, heck who isn't?! Dot: Again he admits it, must admire this guy. Yakko+Wakko: [Glance at each other] Nah... >"You, well you're character is called Max, you are Yakko's second cousin on >his aunt's sister's brothers nephew side. I think....." Yakko: Oh and he can quote wrongly from the "King Yakko" sketch. >"So I'm related to Yakko Warner?" Max asked in an attempt to move this plot >along. All: Yah!! >"Well no, it's a cartoon gag. Never mind. Anywho, you're probably wondering Wakko: why this fanfic is still going on. >why you are a toon." >"Well that was one of the things on my mind." Max said impatiently. Dot: Your skin should really be the first thing on your mind. >"Right the reason you are a toon is so that you can save the world as you know Yakko: someone has been putting in extra punctation and changing the rules of grammer. >it." >"Hunh?! You've got to be kidding me, right?" Max joked. >"Sorry Max, this is serious, you recognise this picture?" Runt-Abu asked as >he showed Max a picture of a white mouse. >"That's Brain!" Max exclaimed Wakko: Mutiple cameo roles, curious. >"Yes, he and his cohort Pinky have found a way to get across to this Dot: fanfic and are boring us to death with it, please help. >'real world' Now in our cartoon world they have always been stopped because, >well it's funny. However over here there is no limitation on them, they >could take over this 'real world' and then of course take over the cartoon >world quite easily." Runt-Abu finished. Dot: Does that mean it's the end? Yakko: Nope, i can see more text coming, lots in fact... >"So why me, I mean why can't you do it?" Max complained. >"Because only a human can stop the brain...." Wakko: or snowball. Snowball could stop Brain. >"BUT I'm no longer human!" Max interrupted. >Runt-Abu continued, "Only a human can stop the brain, BUT that human must Yakko: be immune to all forms of disease and able to use two paddle balls at once. [Starts the "paddle ball" trick.] >become a toon or they would not be able to harm the brain. As to why >you I guess it's your destiny." >"Great, so what am I meant to do?" Max asked. >"Well find brain and stop him by any means possible, don't forget you are a Wakko: danger to your self and others. >toon now, but in this real world toon's CAN get hurt, maybe even killed..." >Runt-Abu concluded. >"And you, what will you be doing whilst I'm saving both out worlds?" >Max demanded. >"I'll advise you, that is all I have been permitted to do...." Runt-Abu >stopped. >Max was sure he was hiding something Yakko: probably some extra commas and full stops. >but decided that no matter how deep he >pried Runt-Abu would not tell. >"So where is the brain just now?" Dot: in your head of course, otherwise you'd be a lump of jello. >"Somewhere in Washington D.C." Runt-Abu replied. >"WHAT?! How we meant to get there in a hurry, the brain could already be Wakko: starting another story... >taking over the world as we speak!" >"This way..." Runt-Abu beckoned. >Runt-Abu lead Max to the window and suddenlt pulled him out. >"WHAT ARE YOU DOING????!" Max screamed. Dot: Poor kid really does have a caps lock problem. >Sudenly from no-where three birds appeared. All: SECOND PLOT POINT!!! >"Max, meet Pesto, Bobby and Squit. They'll give you a lift." Runt-Abu >shouted. >"Hey monkey boy!" Pesto shouted, "You sure we're getting paid for this cameo?" Yakko: [Makes raspberry noise at television] >"Oh yes..." Runt-Abu replied. >The three pigeons grabbed Max in thier feet and flapped hard, Runt-Abu was Dot: running out of plot ideas and about to become love struck by a large lion. Yakko+Wakko: Wah?! Dot: oh right, never mind... >just about to hit the ground when he pulled out a small gyro-copter from >no-where and caught up with the pigeons. >Some time latter they arrived in Washington D.C. Wakko: Well if it where sometime former that would be a little odd. >"Come on, I know where he must be!" Yakko: Oooh spooky nameless voice from the heavens!! Dot: [As a temple maiden] Oh great voice from the sky what message do you bring? Wakko: *BUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPppppppppp...............* Excuse me. >"Look kid we're busting our beaks for you here, you could at least ask us >nicely!" Squit said. >"Are you saying that I have a busted beak?" Asked Pesto >"No, all I'm saying is that we're busting our beaks and he could show us >some respect!" Squit replied. Yakko: [As Steven Spielburg] Sensational charcterisation, I love it. >"ALL RIGHT THAT'S IT!!!" Screamed Pesto as he let go of Max and attacked >Squit. >"Hold on kid!" Screamed Bobby trying his best to keep Max from plummeting >to his doom. >"This could be a rough landing....." Dot: Eeeep! More ghostly voices. >Suddenly Runt-Abu swept in with his gyro-copter and grabbed Max. >"Where we're you?" Max asked. Wakko: I was inserting apostraphes where I was not ment to. >Runt-Abu did not reply. >"Hey Runt, you okay?" >Runt-Abu barked at Max. >"Oh wow, let see because you helped me and you're not meant to you've >lost your power of speech, is that about right?" Yakko: Yes ghostly voice that is correct! Tell it what it's won!! Dot: [As hostess] a new body!!! >Runt-Abu barked again. >"Oh man, I'm sorry; but look! There's the brain down there!!" Wakko: Even if it is obvious Max is the one talking it would be nice for some confirmation of this. >Runt-Abu landed the gyro-copter quite gently near to where the brain was. >"Ah you must be Max, I have been expecting you for some time." The brain said. >Max glanced at Runt-Abu, "Any surgestions?" he asked Yakko: yes proof-read before posting. Wakko: me too! Never eat anything with mayo except fries. Dot: i've got one! How about avoid fanfic's to live until at least fifty. >"None." Runt-Abu replied. >"Hey you can talk again!!" Max said surprised. >"I had a little nap, I never can speak right after a nap!" Runt-Abu offered. >"Well I've no idea what happens know, no body has ever gotten this far >before..." Dot: Ghostly voice we all ready gave you a new body, now you've gotten rid of it you don't stand a chance! >"This has happened before?" Max asked. >"Oh many times, why did you think so many people roleplay on #watertower?" >"They're not role-playing?!" Max Asked. >"Well doh! Of course not, they are humans that failed to save the world, Wakko: I can't think of any off hand but i'm sure they exist. >as a last ditch effort I can make them remain as toons, forever and send Dot: All the money I make to a charitible orginisation. >the brain back home." Runt retorted. >"Zort! Brain, I never knew any of that!" Pinky piped up. >"Quiet pinky or I shall have to hurt you..." The brain quipped. >Max boldly walked towards the little mouse. >"Erm, like Stop!" Max said. >The brain in amazement looked up at Max and shook his head. Yakko: Amazing reach the brain has.... >"My dear Max, you are too late, in a few seconds I shall rule the earth!!" >"Oh yeah! How?" Max asked. Dot: Oh no, don't fall for that trick Brain!!! >"Well by pulling this switch here I shall activate the paradoxilater, >pulling this world into that of the toons, all the humans will of course be >wiped out in the shift leaving me as supreme ruler of the toon world!!" the >brain finshed. Yakko: He fell for it, and he used techno-babble too! >During this long winded speach Max had snuck around the Brain and thrown >Pinky away and was now standing by the paradoxilater. Dot: Hrrrm. >"You mean this switch here?" Max asked. Wakko: Say no Brain!! Lie!! >"Why yes...." the brain started. All: D'oh!! >Max ehaped the machine good and hard, it fell apart on the road. Yakko: Ehaped?! Dot: Yeah, Ehaped, look it's here in my obscure reference dictionary. Ehaped; spotspeak, verb: To hit with a tail or long scarf. Deriv. a typo of whapped by Spot. Yakko: Oooh, learn something everyday. >"NOOOOOOooooooooooooooooo..........." the brain screamed as he suddenly Wakko: realised he fallen for the simplest and oldest trick in the book. >vanished into the road. >"What happened?" Asked Max. >"The machine is what enabled brain to cross into here, without it he was Yakko: able to escape from here!! >forced to return to the toon world, it will be some time before he can >return here." Runt-Abu said eeirly. >"What's with the spooky voice?" Max asked. Dot: See he noticed it too!! >"I too am returning home, soon I shall be back in the toon world, when I >am gone you will become human again. If you want..." Yakko: See there's the spooky voice. Now what's with that one? Wakko: Plot advancement? >"Yes I think I'd like that." Max said happily. >"Okay then, that makes my job a lot easier. But here have this..." Runt-Abu >handed Max a small disk. Dot: PC or Mac format? >"What is it?" Max asked. >"It's a transmutor, it will return you to your true form..." Yakko: the spooky voice said in technobabblese >"My true form?" Max was getting confused again. Dot: He's not the only one. >"Yes just tap it twice and ......" Runt-Abu vanished from sight. >A bright flash light up Max and he was blinded by it. Wakko: Yes have to be careful of those bright flashes. >When he could see again he was outside his house with the disk in his hand; >looking completly confused...... >The end.... All: YAH!! >. >. >. >? Yakko: Oh I think there's a sequel... Dot: Why do i get this sinking feeling... ...o...2...3...4...5...6...WB Pinky: Brain the film has stopped poit! Brian: I know, it appears that even my incredibly large crainum can only take so much of a beating in one day, come pinky we must leave this plan until tommorrow. Pinky: Why brain what are we doing tonight? Brain: [Sighs] Well i was thinking of a little macrame and then some Bridge. Pinky: Oh goody brain but no wait, you need four to play bridge and I don't think Billie likes cards too much. Brain: Silence pinky, we shall do the same thing we do every night, try to conquer the earth! [Pinky and the brain music as camera zooms out back to Warner's couch. Yakko, Wakko and Dot are bubbling pools of slime at the bottom.] Yakko: That was dire... Wakko: True but at least we only have 3 more to go... Dot: 3 or 30 what's the diffrence, we can't cope with this... Yakko: We must sibs, for the whole future of the universe depends on us! Wakko: I thought the universe depended on 42. Yakko: True but we get better odds. [Fade to black] ============================================================================================== MST3K Update 30/8/98 with supporting speech by Charles Brown "Love Theme from MWT3K" by Petrea Mitchell (with apologies to the usual people) Mystery Science Theater 3000, its characters and situations are copyright Best Brains, Inc. Animaniacs, its characters and situations are copyright Amblin. No copyrights were intentionally infringed in the making of this MSTing. If you'd like to MSTify some deserving piece, please join the MSTing dibs list by mailing with a subject of "DIBS-SUB". Dedication ========== This story is dedicated to Entwidomela as I miss him dearly and keep telling everyone who then complains so this may be the last time... Special extra thanks to:- MasemJMouse, DavidSMouse, Rhia, Glis - For the Con that we didn't expect... SheilaWarner, Plucky, Taperlass, RichardFox, Toony, LolaBunny, KinkyTurtle and Vakkotaur - for moving to cynet. WakkoJr, Wakko, Taperlass, Tettie, Mintaka, Minkie, WeirdGuy, Baz, DolphinDave and Pokernose - for not moving from wtower. Ruhk, Kamog, Alpha_x-ray and everyone else on furrymuck for the hugs. My mom and dad for not bugging me to get a real life (too much.) Fizzzgig, Speedy, Dracos, Colin, Ferg, Helen, Hacker and all other operatives of the K.G.B. for not minding their first furry in the club.